Preface: For my son(s)

Son(s),

Being a "real" man is impossible. Being a real man is not like trying to hit a moving target on a track. Rather it is like trying to hit the air. The definition of being a man, much like the future, is always in motion.

There are no lessons I can teach you, no guide that I can give you, no advice that I can tell you, no skill that I can help you develop that will at all prepare you for this life. Life is a continuous lesson. As much as I want you to be prepared for what's out there, the biggest lesson is to be prepared to be ill-prepared. So with this in mind, I give you these lessons. I hope that I will be around to teach you all these things myself, but just in case, I want to be prepared that I'm not.

So all I can tell you is to be yourself. It is the cliche of all cliches but I'll add to it this: I want you to be not who you were born to be, not who the world tells you to be, not who you think you should be, not who you think will make me happy, but who you were made to be. I want you to be your true self, the man that God created you to be. Then you will be a real man. Not because you are who society, your self-esteem, your friends, you enemies or your parents have told you to be, but because you feel confident that you are completely loved and secure in who you are created to be. That is the gospel after all: You are ok. The gospel is a state of being. It proclaims that you are loved, with no condition, no work or gimmick or anything to do. So in your worst and in your best you are loved.

So take my lessons, and if you believe in Jesus, filter them through your own beliefs and convictions. Sieve them with the Holy Spirit that indwells you so that you can test what I have given you. For I too am fallen and loved. Not perfect at all, not even close.

These are not all high, spiritual lessons. Some will be that. But a lot of these are practical, everyday things that I've learned throughout the years. How to tie a tie is a man lesson. How to treat women right is a man lesson. How to drink scotch is a man lesson. How to live as God intended is a man lesson.

I pray that you will not be defined by any list or set of rules that anyone can give you. This list is not what makes a man. You have my love, always. You have my regard, always. You cannot disappoint me in any real way. I am your dad, always.

Love,

Dad